I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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