ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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