You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
