Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Damn victory sex feels great
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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