Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
