Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
