We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
