Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
