okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
