My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i love accidental penises.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
