I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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