Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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