if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
