there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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