Dual....:-)
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
