Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
