the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
no, he came in my armpit
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
