I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
