'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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