you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
