Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I didn't shave. On purpose
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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