i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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