No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
