even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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