dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sext me about skeletons
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
