I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
