I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
