Too much gin, very little bucket
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
