I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
