I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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