And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
