seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
