There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
