listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
