is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
