I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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