Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
