i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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