VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
