How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
