fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
