so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
