I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
