Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
