i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
