By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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