i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
