using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
