You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the liver wants what the liver wants
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
