you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
