Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
