I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
