Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
