kristin has been a bad kristin
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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