Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
