Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I will pee on everything he values.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
