Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
