it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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