This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
