just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
