it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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