you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
