did you get engaged???
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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