how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
