she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize