I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
