i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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